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There was a post on my friends list today of the kind that I see… - B. Henderson Asher's Moments of Mirth [entries|archive|friends|userinfo]
Listen in, listen Ian!

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[Jun. 2nd, 2009|03:15 pm]
Listen in, listen Ian!
There was a post on my friends list today of the kind that I see every so often, where a lady is reporting that a passing gentleman has made some comment on a feature of her body. Now perhaps - in fact, it's almost certain now that I think about it - that all my friends are v hot but even so, it's a bit off chaps. I don't really understand the motivation behind it1 - do people ever Get Any this way? Is it perhaps like spam, where there may only be a 1% takeup rate but by concentrating on volume you can still do well. Perhaps you only have to shout unpleasant remarks to 100 women a day, and one of them will bite. Obv I'm doing it wrong, which is why I'm not Getting Any.

Speaking of not Getting Any, a woman on OkCupid sent me a message saying more or less "Hi, you look good, but because I don't have much of a profile on here look at my profile on Guardian Soulmates." Fair enough, so I did, and I ended up spending some time creating a profile on there myself only to find afterwards that unless you pay you can't actually send messages to anyone. What's the point of that then. Other than to make money for the Guardian, obviously, but nearly £25 a month. Are they kidding? I did get sent one message on it though - you have to create a little headline bit for your profile, and because I couldn't be arsed to be creative I put "Male person seeks female person to hang out with and stuff." which I think says it all really. Anyway, the message I've got was just pointing out that in the profile preview section the headline cuts off after 'hang'. So I left it like that.


1Yeah, obviously it's not really about the se><, it's about just wanting to humiliate the woman because you're a cvnt but that would only make for a fairly pompous update.
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Comments:
[User Picture]From: mrs_leroy_brown
2009-06-02 02:28 pm (UTC)

just waffling

Most times I've had things shouted at me has been when I'm on my bike. ??? Am I meant to hop off, turn round and go back 'why YES I do have big knockers! What an astute comment!' (fave thing to have shouted at me: 'oi fatty, get a car!')

Some dude wrote to me on OK Cupid and said something like 'Hello missy, aren't you cute?' and blah blah blah. I just deleted it because UGH, missy? For real? Patronise me more, pls! o_O
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[User Picture]From: oldbloke
2009-06-02 03:07 pm (UTC)

Re: just waffling

I've seen it claimed that just asking women directly if they'd be ineterested in sex gets about a 2% hit rate, even if the male in question isn't all that.
But that was in the USA. It might not work here. Could be an interesting experiment (for somebody who doesn't mind getting beaten up a couple of times a week, probably)
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[User Picture]From: mr_tom
2009-06-02 03:41 pm (UTC)

Re: just waffling

I'm not sure how the pod people conflate "being on bike" with "interested in my opinion", but they do; with remarkable frequency.
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[User Picture]From: eyekiller
2009-06-03 04:09 pm (UTC)

Re: just waffling

One that did actually make me laugh was someone just shouting "BOOBS!" at me when I walked past their window.
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[User Picture]From: tonight_we_fly
2009-06-02 03:56 pm (UTC)
What's the point of that then.

I remember being a member of Soulmates. From what I recall the point, sadly, is that you start off under the impression that it's free to join up. So they manage to tempt you into bulking up their database of pseudo-members; but having signed up, people now send you messages and you feel flattered or obliged or whatever to reply, which of course you have to pay in order to do. Then of course, once they've reeled you in, it gets incrementally cheaper per month according to how long you subscribe for...

Incidentally, if you don't join properly (sorry, "upgrade" to a paid membership category) then they will send you an e-mail in a few weeks offering you 10% off. Ignore that, and a couple of months later you'll find that they offer you 30% off. Etc. Because they care, obviously...

Some of the particualrly scummy "free to join" online dating sites used to take it a step further, and you had to be a paid member in order just to read a message which somebody had sent you (Dating Direct springs to mind here). Now that really was low.
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[User Picture]From: ruudboy
2009-06-03 09:09 pm (UTC)
Excellent, I've got the 10% one already!
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[User Picture]From: morrissesque
2009-06-02 06:34 pm (UTC)
"Anyway, the message I've got was just pointing out that in the profile preview section the headline cuts off after 'hang'."

Haha, that's brilliant.
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[User Picture]From: vodka_fairy
2009-06-02 07:43 pm (UTC)
NEARLY TWENTY FIVE POUNDS A MONTH???

I liked your headline x
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[User Picture]From: ozgirlabroad
2009-06-02 09:22 pm (UTC)
hey, I found the love of my life on Soulmates. One ex-flatmate is pregnant with her second child and getting married to a guy she met via Soulmates. Another ex-flatmate is about to clock up four years with a guy she met on Soulmates. And on the way I met some very lovely people who weren't for me but would make some girl very happy.

I was once considered an expert on internet dating and invited to contribute to a book which is available on Amazon so for this I can speak with great authority - you have to spend money to get quality in many things in life, and online dating is one of these places.
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[User Picture]From: eyekiller
2009-06-03 11:15 am (UTC)
I rescued my best mate from a con artist she met on Soulmates.

OTOH I suspect she was just very very unlucky.
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[User Picture]From: ozgirlabroad
2009-06-03 03:37 pm (UTC)
OMG! A con artist!

Mind you, I've been offline and off the market for nearly four years so things may have changed!
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[User Picture]From: ruudboy
2009-06-03 09:11 pm (UTC)
YES! Still, two people on there have made me one of their favourites now. I reckon they make money when two people make each other favourites, and the most desperate one cracks and pays.

Want any American sweets getting?
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[User Picture]From: vodka_fairy
2009-06-03 09:26 pm (UTC)
Pay for crack?!

I would have got you to get me wild berry skittles but a) it's not fair and b) people (including me) are finding it very hard to find them. But if you see some... well :)
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