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B. Henderson Asher's Moments of Mirth [entries|archive|friends|userinfo]
Listen in, listen Ian!

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[Aug. 28th, 2006|06:40 pm]
Listen in, listen Ian!
I'm on the internet on a train! GNER trains now have Wifi in them, and if you're in first class, as I now am due to the weird system where first class is sometimes cheaper than second class it's free. It's just like living in the future.

Except, no it isn't. It's like living in about 1994 because it's ridiculously slow internet, as if the train's equipped with a 14K modem. If I wasn't in first class, and I'd paid for this I'd be absolutely fvcking fuming. I know it can't be easy to get the internet onto a train, but surely they could at least get it up to the speed of, say, a 56K modem?

The Edinburgh-London route, or at least the bit of it before you get to about Newcastle is very pretty. Along the coast for most of the way. Berwick-upon-Tweed looks like a pretty place. Unfortunately, my enjoyment of the journey is being slightly spoiled by a woman wgho's just got on with (i) a Daily Telegraph and (ii) a dog. Not even a proper dog either, but a little West Highland terrier. What is the point of them. If you're going to be a dog, you should at least look like you could compete in a fight with a cat.

Another annoying person today was someone I was at the same table as at breakfast. She seemed to be some kind of just graduated media stoodent and she was tw@tting on about her masterplan to get a foot in the door at the BBC by getting a job in, erm, the BBC Shop at TV Centre. Because, like, all sorts of people must go and buy things there, so it's a great way to meet important people. Um, yes. Also, she said "turn the smile upside down" at one point, which I think was her getting the phrase "turn the frown upside down" wrong, which isn't difficult to notice is it? The non-rhyming should give it away, not to mention that telling someone to "turn the smile upside down" is clearly TOTAL FVCKING BOLL0CKS. Oh, and she was unironically advocating "wry satirical humour", so I killed her.

Edinburgh was great, and I'll do a proper post about it at some point but quick honourable mentions go straight to:
  • The award winning Josie Long (I liked her before she was popular, you know).

  • Daniel Kitson

  • The Trap
linkReply

Comments:
[User Picture]From: sevenwindmills
2006-08-28 07:13 pm (UTC)

oi!

I wont have a bad thing said about westies EVER!!!

They're the best dogs ever, because they're funny. Girl westies move their heads from side to side like nodding dogs if you talk to them. Get two of them doing it and it's too funny for words. Try getting an alsatian to do that!

Oh, and Matty often goes for cats - poppy isn't as bothered, but they'd definitely win in a fight with a cat, if Matty caught up with it (it's usually a back garden thing, so the cat has the advantage of being able to jump up the fence before he can get to her). Nope, Westies are excellent, and I have a bazillion other reasons why.

Close second - Yorkshire Terriers.
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[User Picture]From: ruudboy
2006-08-28 10:44 pm (UTC)

Re: oi!

Close second - Yorkshire Terriers.

Are you mad? They're even worse. Horrid little rat-like things.
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[User Picture]From: sevenwindmills
2006-08-29 07:04 am (UTC)

Re: oi!

ohh! poor Rusty would be turning in his grave now (if he could read, and if he didn't have the conservatory built on top of him - although dad made sure when it was built, that they built around his body, poor thing)
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[User Picture]From: ruudboy
2006-08-29 07:30 am (UTC)

Re: oi!

and if he didn't have the conservatory built on top of him

Is it wrong that that bit made me laugh? Sorry. Is there a plaque on the conservatory? That'd be good.

This is a proper dog:



And this, as well as being potentially nsfw is the wrongest thing ever.
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[User Picture]From: sevenwindmills
2006-08-29 07:40 am (UTC)

Re: oi!

heh, I laughed a bit, but was worried... I mean, Rusty was named by me, he was our first dog, he was excellent, and you know, the best thing about him was when my nana and my grannie died, and I was crying on my bed, he nudged his way into the room, and just licked my hand, to make me feel better, cause he knew. A bit like Sally (our first westie) did, when I've been upset before, although I think she just nudged my hand and rested her head on it, to check I was okay.

Last time when I was in York, Poppy and Matty were taken on a long walk by my youngest cousin - they came back exhausted - Pops fell asleep right across my front (but I could still see the tv), and Matty on my feet (http://www.zen70043.zen.co.uk/dogs.jpg). Poppy usually wont let Matty be on the same chair as her! Poppy did actually start lying on my stomach, but I think she was quite comfy there...

and yes, that picture you posted is the wrongest thing ever!! ewwwww!!!!
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[User Picture]From: chiller
2006-08-28 08:07 pm (UTC)
so I killed her.

The cheque's in the mail.
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[User Picture]From: themezzanine
2006-08-28 09:00 pm (UTC)
If you're going to be a dog, you should at least look like you could compete in a fight with a cat.

Word.
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[User Picture]From: missfrost
2006-08-28 10:11 pm (UTC)
BBC shop woman can at least console herself by probably being paid more than people who are actually getting a foot into TV by being runners... About £12K at our place places I've heard of.
But she sounds like Mummy and Daddy might sort her out anyway.
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[User Picture]From: mippy
2006-08-28 10:29 pm (UTC)
Ah, but there is mrethod in twat-friend's madness - she gets access to the internal jobs. Pah.
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[User Picture]From: classytart
2006-08-28 10:40 pm (UTC)
Josie Long and Isy Suttie in the audience for Natalie Haynes tonight. Woo yeah.

Stupid blood Kitson being great when I decided I should go to bed because it was a school night (then failed to sleep anyway). Pah!
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[User Picture]From: ruudboy
2006-08-28 10:43 pm (UTC)
Also, you'd have definately got in, because he took pity on the people left outside and let them all in.
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[User Picture]From: classytart
2006-08-28 10:45 pm (UTC)
Damn it all! How late did it go?

AND I should be in my last show right now but it was cancelled due to a lack of voice. Pah! Mime, says I.
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[User Picture]From: ruudboy
2006-08-28 10:46 pm (UTC)
Quarter to three. It was surprisingly easy to get a taxi at that time.
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[User Picture]From: classytart
2006-08-28 10:48 pm (UTC)
Probably is best I didn't go, then. I'd have been up until after 3, and it was bad enough when my alarm went off at half 7.
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[User Picture]From: flamingkitties
2006-08-29 07:42 am (UTC)
But these:



are not bad.

These however:



Fvcking pointless.
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From: shewho
2006-08-29 08:37 am (UTC)
agreed with your honourable mentions there, yes!

and the killing. well done!
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