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B. Henderson Asher's Moments of Mirth [entries|archive|friends|userinfo]
Listen in, listen Ian!

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[Jan. 26th, 2012|01:37 pm]
Listen in, listen Ian!
I was reading the new Private Eye this morning. It's great, and important obviously - there's so much in there that never gets anywhere near any other news sources - but man, they get some things so wrong, don't they? Apart from the constant sniggering homophobic undertone to the whole thing, two things stood out this morning:

i) The "Called to Ordure" section covered a hearing of the home affairs select committee. The people whose contributions were covered were a number of men, and a woman. See if you can guess which of the contributors was the only one to have their footwear analysed. Sigh.

ii) They seem to think that referring to Max Mosley as "orgy-goer Max Mosley" undermines the case for a privacy law. I'd say the opposite.

Oh, there's also the satirical bit in the middle which is essentially identical every week and of which no part is funny, but I pretty much just ignore that now.


There were two parts that I remember really. In the first part I was at Harry Redknapp's trial, but it wasn't in a court room, it was in a nice living room with comfy chairs. I was sitting next to Michael Mansfield, who was one of the barristers, presumably for the defence but it wasn't specified. S was also there, and at one point he was coming on to her, the despicable cad. During one of his speeches to the court, he was getting more and more carried away until the judge finally shouted "You're fired!" at him, at which point everyone in the room burst into hysterical laughter.
Michael Mansfield and Harry Redknapp trial

Then later on I was hiding some luggage in a hole in the ground for safekeeping outside the house I lived in until I left home, that my parents moved from a few years ago. When I went back a drain had burst next to where I hid the lugagge, and it had been washed away. While I was looking to see if I could find see where it had been washed away from the man who lives in the house now came out, and accused me of being the man the police were looking for who had been holding women's heads in the toilet and flushing it, so I had to run away. Then I was on a coach with some of my family, and at one of the stops I noticed that the luggage was in a subway, so I went to ask the driver if he'd wait for a minute while I went to collect it. He refused, but when I got back to my seat at the back I saw that my mum and my sister had sneaked out of the back door of the coach and retrieved it, and my sister had also found a set of 1950s golf clubs. Then the bus was driving through Bury and there was a big flock of red and green parrots near Bury Bridge, which my cousin told me were called "Aves1". Although the coach was going through Bury, we couldn't get off it until it got to Wigan - I remember there was some discussion about whether we'd be able to get off near Tesco in Bolton - so my mum and dad had an argument about who should drive home from there. I think it was agreed we should get a taxi.

1Which is in fact the biological class into which all birds fall.


[User Picture]From: frightened
2012-01-26 07:02 pm (UTC)
I think I got fucked off with Private Eye when they were sneering about the number of wheelchair-accessible toilets on Virgin trains. As in, they thought there were too many of them. Cos, you know, cripples don't have basic human needs.
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